When you see a broken crayon, what do you see? Do you skip over the broken pieces to get to one that seems to be in the original shape it was packaged? What is it about a broken crayon that most avoid it?
I’m finding that when you are unaware of who you are, you tend to either hide in the darkness or adhere to the world’s view of perfection. This view is dependent upon the cultural influence you are garnered in. All in all, if you are unaware of your worth, your perspective will be one looking through a foggy lens, working outside of your full potential.
I know this, because I was there. I was in a place where the darkness was comfortable. It was easy for me to stay in my mess because I didn’t feel I was worth anything more. I didn’t want to hear that I was created in God’s perfect image or that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. I didn’t want to be held accountable for anything. So I isolated myself. I ran from the people, places, and things that would make me desperate for change. I was not willing to forgive myself for not being where I felt I was supposed to be or where society said I was going to be. I was a college dropout, unmarried, attention seeking and alone. I was not willing to put my pride aside and ask for help. Instead I was seeking help in places that ultimately would NEVER give me the answers I was really in search of.
My broken pieces were looked over, shuffled through stepped on and broken even more. I didn’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. Honestly, I wasn’t really looking. Until that one day, enough was enough. With 2 babies and one on the way, recently evicted, a job that I was no longer happy in and a toxic relationship, I was at the end of my rope. If I did not start making some serious changes in my life, I would either be dead, in jail, on public service and continuing to live outside of my potential.
Wooo I just got the shivers! How awesome is God, that through it all, he FORGIVES us? That even when we don’t get it right he still wants to LOVE us. So, if it’s so easy for God to forgive, why do we hold on to so much DEAD WEIGHT instead of letting it go?
When you can sit in your own self pity, it’s comfortable. When you can diverge your unhappiness on other people, it’s comfortable. No one is pushing you to get better because more often than not, you are speaking to people who will not hold you accountable. That’s why it’s good for soul ties to be broken. When people speak of soul ties, they automatically think of a physical/sexual relationship. But not all soul ties have that connotation. There are some friendship soul ties, family soul ties, career centered soul ties that NEED TO BE BROKEN. But that’s for another day another blog! Promise I’ll get back to that one.
Forgive yourself. Take that first step and clear your lens. See the world from a different angle. Look through God’s eyes. See what he sees. See that beautiful girl who can accomplish anything. Who is worth the wait. Who doesn’t have to sell herself short for the “next best thing.” See that boy who will be more than a statistic. Who will provide for his family. Who will be a family man and lead his wife and children. See yourself successful. See yourself beginning to walk in God’s excellence. See yourself BEING. beYOUtiful. You are great. You know why? Because your creator is and if you are created in His image, he’d never make himself less than His potential. He will use the broken pieces of your life to form BEAUTIFUL masterpieces.
Broken crayons still color. A loaded statement that can go into so many different directions but I believe all boil down to a unified translation and realization that YOU’RE WORTH IT!
You have to start believing on another level. God said you can do it, you can do it. You don’t need to seek validation from others or the world. See yourself being. When God puts his stamp on it, believe me, IT WILL HAPPEN.
Often times we chose negative emotions because they are actually safe. What an oxymoron. To be negative is to be safe. Why is that you ask? Well, as long as we do not expect anything of another person, we will not be disappointed. And if we are not disappointed, we are safe. We have not given another person the vulnerability within us. We have not let go of the control. Our guard is still up and not only is it up to other people, but we put it up to ourselves. From truly knowing ourselves. From truly knowing God. From truly knowing our hearts.
So, will you allow God to use the broken pieces of your life to formulate the beautiful masterpiece he wishes? Can He help you see yourself differently, speak of yourself differently, and know yourself differently?
Don’t let what did or did not happen validate who you are. Reconcile with your past and move forward.
I’m still coloring <3